By MYRON HEUER
Do you like or hate your name? How about these names. Vasoline Lewis, Emancipation Proclamation Cogshell, Winnie Mac Pough, Ima Rose Bush or Rolls Royce Hood?
For many years, I didn't like my name. I never asked my parents why they named me Myron. I guess I was afraid of the answer. There are no Myrons in our family history. In fact, as I mentioned in this column before, according to the phone directory listing in cyberspace, I'm the only Myron Heuer in the country.
One reason I think I hated my name was because there was a girl in school whose name was Myran, using an "a" instead of an "o." I thought my name was a bit sissy.
There are quite a few names used for boys and girls. Marian and Marion is an example. Did you know that John Wayne's real name was Marion? Not very macho. Another example is Laverne and Lavern. Kim is another.
For many years, while I was in radio, I used the name Mike. Mike Wallace, by the way is a Myron. But when I retired from radio I went back to what I jokingly called my maiden name, Myron. It doesn't bother me anymore. But I sure wish I knew why my folks decided to name me Myron.
Movie stars used to change their names. Do you know who Spangler Arlington Brugh was? Robert Taylor. Do you know who Robert Taylor was? Us old folks remember him as a handsome movie star.
I heard the other day that last year's most popular names for newborns were Michael and Sarah. A couple years back it was Michael and Amy. Seems that first daughters have an influence. I bet there are a lot of girls named Chelsea. Also I bet a lot of dogs were named Buddy and cats were named Socks. During the Bush years, I bet there were many dogs named Millie.
According to the 1990 census, most popular female names were Mary, Patricia, Linda, Barbara, Elizabeth, Jennifer, Maria, Susan, Margaret and Dorothy.
The most popular male names were James, John, Michael, William, David, Richard, Charles, Joseph, and Thomas. Myron didn't make the list.
Trendy names include Ashley, Brittany, Kayle, Alexis, Jasmine, Tiffany, Austin, Tyler and Zachary.
Here are some more goofy names. Cherry Pye, Tootsie Roll, Bell Peppers, Etta Apple, and Cotton-eyed Joe Smith.
How about twins. Shadrack and Meshak, Bigamy and Larceny, Early and Curley, Nip and Tuck, A.C. and D.C., and Pete and Repeat.
If you're expecting a baby soon, I hope we've helped you name your baby.
Come to think of it, Myron must be a trendy name because all the Myrons I know are in their sixties and seventies. Does anybody name their newborn boy Myron anymore?. I can't think of any.