Herald and Journal Herald & Journal, March 16, 1998

Some old 'stuff' to pass along

By MYRON HEUER

I have quite a collection of "stuff" for this week's column. Much of this you may have heard before, and some you may have not.

Do you know if you swallow a watermelon seed you'll get pregnant? (I've always wondered . . . males too?)

Swallow a grape seed and you'll get appendicitis.

Don't walk under a ladder and if a black cat crosses your path, either one will give you bad luck.

Break a mirror and you'll have seven years bad luck.

If you swim within an hour after eating, you'll get cramps and drown.

If your nose itches, you're going to kiss a fool.

Any wish you make when you see a shooting star, will come true.

Make a face and you might be stuck with it for life.

Spill salt at the table and you'll get bad luck unless you pick up some of that salt with your right hand and throw it over your left shoulder. (Hope you don't salt the folks at the next table.)

Sweep after dark, sweep sorrow in your heart. (There'd be a death in the family.)

Bread has fewer calories when toasted.

If you sing before breakfast, you'll cry before supper.

If you step on a crack, you'll break your mother's back. (Best reason sidewalks should be repaired.)

Here's a timely one: If March came in like a lion, it'll go out like a lamb and vice versa.

An old Riverside, Calif. health ordinance prohibits two people from kissing each other on the lips until they first clean their lips with carbolated rose water.

An Indiana law prohibits a man from wearing a mustache if he habitually kisses human beings.

In Owensboro, Ky., an old law states that if a woman wants to buy a new hat, her husband must try it on first.

In Ottumwa, Iowa, it is unlawful for any male person to wink at any female with whom he is unacquainted.

It's against the law to whistle at a girl in Abilene, Texas and tickling a girl with a feather duster is illegal in Portland, Maine.

No liquor may be sold to a man in Cold Springs, Pa., unless he first obtains a written consent from his wife. Which reminds me of an old saying: A sour-faced wife is the liquor dealer's best friend.

Finally, in Lebanon, Tenn., a husband may not shove his wife out of bed, even if her feet are cold. The same law allows a wife to shove her husband out of bed at any time without reason.

Now aren't you glad you read this column today? How could you get by without knowing this information?

One last thing. I really would like to know where this saying came about: "What's the matter? Cat got your tongue?"


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