Herald and Journal
Herald & Journal, November 30, 1998

I'm writing for the fifth week

By MYRON HEUER

I'm writing for the fifth week

Four times a year I become a little frustrated. As I write these weekly columns, I'll check the calendar.

Four times a year there is a fifth week, or at least part of a week. Or to put it more accurately there are five Mondays. So, since this paper publishes on Monday, I have to come up with another column. Preachers have the same problem ­ four times a year they have to come up with another sermon.

This year I've had to come up with another column in March, June, August, and November. I haven't seen a 1999 calendar yet to see which months I'll have to come up with an extra column.

So what do I come up with this month? Maybe a few jokes I've run across:


After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him. The moral of this story is: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.


A man comes out of a shopping mall to find the side of his car is bashed in. Seeing a note underneath the windshield wiper, he reads: "As I am writing this note, about a dozen people are watching me. They think I'm giving you my name, phone number, and insurance company. But, you and I know different."


A person who wasn't very smart came into a hardware store asking for a chain saw. "I want a saw that will cut down six trees in an hour."

The salesman recommended the top of the line model. The customer bought it and came back the next day. "This chain saw is defective! It would only cut down one tree and it took me all day."

The salesman took the chain saw, started it up to see what was wrong, and the customer, who has a couple screws loose said, "What's that noise?"


Got a good joke you'd like to share? Send it to me. You can write to me at 1121 Highland Ave. #123, Watertown, WI 53098, or e-mail me at tgheuer@execpc.com.


Sometimes we say "that's Greek to me" when we don't understand something. But what do the Greeks say?


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