Bratbusters announce retirement
In an announcement that shocked the outdoor grilling world today, the world famous Bratbusters have announced their retirement.
After years of travel around the world grilling for kings, queens, and presidents, the famous quartet said they could no longer keep up the hectic pace.
Said Bratbuster Floyd Sneer: "After years of grilling, I have developed carpel tunnel in my wrists and can no longer turn the brats in a professional manner."
Dave Sherman stated: "I have never been the same since the fall from the high wire while performing at the White House for the President. Since the accident, one of my legs is shorter than the other and I find myself grilling brats on only one side."
Bratbuster Gary Lenz said: "I have taken this career as far as I can. Once you've reached the top of your profession, there is nowhere else to go. I want to leave while I'm still on top."
Tom Ollig, with a tear in his eye and a crackle in his voice, said: "The four of us have been together for many years. I just can't go on without my friends. It's time to hang up the tongs and put away the charcoal."
All the Bratbusters agreed that because of their exploits, many younger men and women have taken up the art of grilling wiener winks and hot dogs.
"It's time some of these younger kids step up to brats and keep the tradition going," stated one of 'Busters.
They all agreed that over the years they have made a lot of money, not only for themselves but also their agents, Dewy, Cheetum and How.
They commented that for the right fee they may perform at special events in the future.
Stated Sneer: "We will miss the cheer of the crowd and all the attention and status that comes with being a Bratbuster, but I think we all just want to live a normal life away from the camera's eye."
What: Bratbusters' final performance
When: Friday, July 17, 4:30-9 p.m.
Where: Mill Reserve Park, Winsted
Why: Part of Winsted's annual Crazy Days and Sidewalk Sales
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