Herald Journal Columns
Sept. 22, 2003 Herald Journal
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Watch your moves while driving


A perfectly legal, but deathly, move for drivers is shown in the boxed diagram.

I think about it once in a while, when I am tempted to do it myself.Driving diagram

Here is a warning from me to you: don't pass another driver when that car in front of you is going past a side road (like coming out of a driveway or little township road).

What happens is this: You (Car 1) want to pass, Driver Two is oblivious, and Driver Three pulls out onto the highway.

A head-on collision is the result, with no one at fault that I know of.

It's the only time I saw my brother cry, because his gal was hit straight on in this situation. She survived, but only just barely.

I wonder if this happens on Highway 7 a lot?

Highway 7 seems to have a lot of NUTSY drivers who pass even when it's not legal to do this (Highway 12 has nutsy drivers, because they like to speed and drive too fast under unsafe conditions). There are also patches of weird fog on 7.

I saw a bumper sticker that read "Pray for me. I drive on Highway 7." But I digress.

This move is dangerous anywhere, whether it's 12 or 7. Be mindful of it.

Weight going up

The average weight of a fairgoer attending the Minnesota State Fair went UP . . . to MY weight!

I weigh 150 pounds, and that's exactly what the usual fairgoer who attended the Weights and Measures Division of the state fair weighed!

I received a news release about it from the state. The wise apples.

The year before, the average weight was 149, before then 148, and in 1998, it was 145.

We're all getting fatter, aren't we?

We need to start cooking food ourselves again, and stop this love affair with greasy, easy food.

Another side note: Jim O'Leary told me that my maiden name, Schreifels ­ translated ­ means "WHISTLER." Doesn't' that strike your mind! I thought that was so interesting.

The little rudder

We all have tongues, and this can be a problem for all of us (myself included).

The Bible likens a tongue to the rudder on a big ship ­ something that is very small, but directs a large object (some larger than others, ha ha) :0).

Interestingly enough, the Titanic was the victim of having a rudder that was too SMALL!

The Titanic could not get away an iceberg with a rudder that was too small and pilot, driven by pride, who wanted to make a speed record.

The pilot charted a course northward even though he was warned to go southward (the long way) because of the iceberg danger.

But, filled with pride and selfish desire, he rushed forward to the ship's doom. And he couldn't direct his ship out of the way fast enough.

Likewise, another famous ship ­ the Bismarck ("the pride of the German fleet") was doomed when a small torpedo strike knocked out its steering on this big ship!

So is our own tongues like the small rudders fixed to large ships.

How wise is God knowing that we are very much exactly like this, being that our tongues are small rudders on large ships (ourselves).

This revelation is courtesy of Pastor Eric Bolton, giving his message at the Canby Baptist church.

Bolton notes that the captain, intent on speed records and not on being able to maneveur, managed to kill more than 1,000 people with the Titanic.

"Behold, the ships also, though they are so great and are driven by strong winds, are still directed by a very small rudder, wherever the inclination of the pilot desires.

So also the tongue is a small part of the body, and yet it boasts of great things.

Behold how great a forest is set aflame by such a small fire!

And the tongue is a fire, the very world of iniquity; that which defiles the entire body and sets on fire the course of our lives and is set on fire by hell.

For every species of beasts and birds of reptiles and creatures of the sea is tamed by the human race.

But no one can tame the tongue; it is a restless evil and full of deadly poison." James Chapter 3

Remember, we are judged according to our words, not necessarily our deeds, according to God.

Words are a window to the soul and we should be careful about every careless word we utter ("And I say to you, that every careless word that men shall speak, they shall render account for it in the day of judgement. For by your words you shall be justified and by your words you shall be condemned."

Matthew 12:36-37.

Goofy classifieds

The following are actual classifieds taken from newspapers:

Free yorkshire terrier. Eight years old. Hateful little rat.

Free puppies: 12 Cocker spaniel 12 sneaky neighbor's dog.

Free puppies. Part German shepherd, part stupid dog.

German shepherd, 85 lbs. Neutered. Speaks German. Free.

Found: dirty white dog. Looks like a rat . . . been out awhile . . .Better be reward.

Snow blower for sale only used on snowy days.

Cows, calves never bred . . . Also one gay bull for sale.

Nordic track $300 hardly used, call chubby.

Hanover's ­ largest selection ever "If it's in stock, we have it!"

Nice parachute: never opened - used once.

Tired of working for only $9.75 per hour? We offer profit sharing and flexible hours. Starting pay: $7-$9 per hour.

Joining nudist colony! Must sell washer and dryer $300.

Open house body shapers toning salon. Free coffee and donuts.

For sale by owner complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. Forty five volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000 Or best offer. No longer needed. Got married last weekend. Wife knows everything.

One real classified

I know of a 10-year-old purebred Dalmation dog who is looking for a good home. He is house broken and gentle, but has a little bit of arthritis in one of his hind legs. The current owner keeps him outside during the summer, but he must be inside during winter because of the arthritis.

Please call me at (320) 543-2131, before he is put down.

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