Herald Journal Columns
April 12, 2004 Herald Journal
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Trading an outboard electric motor for tomatoes


Most guys would laugh at the thought of trading their outboard electric boat motors for fresh tomatoes in the fall.

Ha ha! I’m the one laughing, and it’s kind of sweet to have a husband who is doing exactly that – in fact, it was his idea. Screwball.

For weeks I’ve been dreaming about planting tomatoes.

My husband has vetoed the tomatoes each time, giving me a new reason that I shouldn’t do it.

Here are some of his reasons: I’m a rotten vegetable gardener, it didn’t really work the last time I did it, it will be a weedy mess, and we don’t have enough room on our property (these are all sort of true).

I also have a bad back that doesn’t take well to gardening.

In the past week, I thought about being sneaky. I was coming up with all kinds of ideas.

My last thought was to hide the tomato garden behind our garage and by the time he found it, it’d be too late.

I guess when you’re married more than 10 years, your spouse can plot a trajectory of where you’re going to go with something.

So, my husband made a deal, trading his small electric motor for tomatoes. “I can always buy another one,” he said.

Before I knew it, this guy at our church was asking me what kind of tomatoes I wanted and how many.

“How many do you want to can?” he asked me.

I stood there with my mouth open, surprised.

We clipped through about 25 jars last year in less than two months.

“Do you want 50 or 100 quarts?” he asked me.

Geeze. One hundred quarts would handle my little wagon just fine. “How about 75?” I asked.

So I’m going to be canning like crazy in the fall – salsa, stewed tomatoes, and everything! Ha ha!

‘Laus Deo’

In Washington, DC, are displayed two words: Laus Deo (pronounced Lah-us Dee-o).

The words are 555 feet long, 5.125 inches high, perched atop the Washington monument, facing skyward, overlooking the 69 square miles which comprise the District of Columbia, capital of the United States of America.

Laus Deo!

What does that mean? It’s Latin for “Praise be to God!”

Though construction of this monument began in 1848, when James Polk was president of the United States, it was not until 1888 that the monument was inaugurated and opened to the public.

From atop this magnificent granite and marble structure, visitors may take in the beautiful panoramic view of the city with its division into four major segments.

From that vantage point, one can also easily see the original plan of the designer, Pierre Charles l’Enfant . . . a perfect cross imposed upon the landscape, with the White House to the North. The Jefferson Memorial to the South, the Capitol to the East and the Lincoln Memorial to the West.

A cross you ask? Why a cross?

What about separation of church and state?

Yes, a cross; separation of church and state was not, is not, in the Constitution.

It is clear when one studies the history of our great nation, that Washington’s America was one of the few countries in all the world established under the guidance, direction and banner of Almighty God, to whom was given all praise, honor and worship by the great men who formed and fashioned this nation’s pivotal foundations.

When one stops to observe the inscriptions found in public places all over our nation’s capitol, he or she will easily find the signature of God, as it is unmistakably inscribed everywhere you look.

Though many try to disprove and reason, their arguments are weak and easily proven without basis.

The truth is we have always been one nation under God! Laus Deo! Praise be to God!

Did you know?

The following is an advertisement at the HLWW high school, hanging in the hallway:

“Did you know . . .

That Venus is the only planet in the Milky Way that rotates clockwise. No piece of paper can be folded in half more than seven times. There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar. A dime has 118 ridges around the edge.

Elephants are the only animals that can’t jump. Women blink nearly twice as much as men. Butterflies taste with their feet. Your eyes are always the same size from birth, but your nose and ears never stop growing. Starfish don’t have brains.

In a deck of cards, the king of hearts is the only king without a mustache. February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon. Pearls melt in vinegar.

. . the yearbook is on sale? See Mrs. Barth in Room 2-2. $37.00”

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