Herald Journal Columns
May 3, 2004 Herald Journal
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Skip the vacuum for Mother's Day


Since Mother’s Day is Sunday, I thought it might be nice to offer a few tips for gifts (if any are to be given).

Let’s start out with what NOT to give, since this can omit a host of presents that will give a less-than-happy outcome.

Don’t give anything that is related to housework, like laundry soap or a new vacuum cleaner (the latter of which I got for Christmas one year).

(Hint: scented soap is an exception.)

Chocolate, on the other hand, is a sure thing. Why not try bubble bath stuff, or nice smelly stuff?

Incidentally, all of these ideas can be found locally in area merchants, at reasonable prices.

My very best advice is actually free (the gift idea).

Why not give her a week of “no laundry?” or make supper for a night? It won’t matter if you burn it, she’ll appreciate the gesture! I guarantee this would go over huge!

Thoughts about mothers . . .

Here is a collection of quotes to appreciate mothers.

“All that I am or ever hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.” – Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865)

“My mother was the most beautiful woman I ever saw. All I am I owe to my mother. I attribute all my success in life to the moral, intellectual and physical education I received from her.” – George Washington (1732-1799)

“There never was a woman like her. She was gentle as a dove and brave as a lioness . . . The memory of my mother and her teachings were, after all, the only capital I had to start life with, and on that capital I have made my way.” – Andrew Jackson

“Youth fades; love droops, the leaves of friendship fall; A mother’s secret hope outlives them all.” – Oliver Wendell Holmes (1809-1894)

“God could not be everywhere and therefore he made mothers." – Jewish proverb.

On the funny side . . .

PAUL REVERE’S MOTHER: “I don’t care where you think you have to go, young man. Midnight is past your curfew!”

COLUMBUS’ MOTHER: “I don’t care what you’ve discovered, Christopher. You still could have written!”

BABE RUTH’S MOTHER: “Babe, how many times have I told you to quit playing ball in the house! That’s the third broken window this week!”

MICHELANGELO’S MOTHER: “Mike, can’t you paint on walls like other children? Do you have any idea how hard it is to get that stuff off the ceiling?”

NAPOLEON’S MOTHER: “All right, Napoleon. If you aren’t hiding your report card inside your jacket, then take your hand out of there and prove it!”

ABRAHAM LINCOLN’S MOTHER: “Again with the stovepipe hat, Abe? Can’t you just wear a baseball cap like the other kids?”

BATMAN’S MOTHER: “It’s a nice car, Bruce, but do you realize how much the insurance is going to be?”

These quotes are courtesy of ionanet.com/press/cards/mom.htm.

Emergency call

numbers . . .

When in sorrow, call John 14.

When people fail you, call Psalm 27.

If you want to be faithful, call John 15.

When you have sinned, call Psalm 51.

When you worry, call Matthew 6:19-34.

When you are in danger, call Psalm 91.

When God seems far way, call Psalm 139.

When your faith needs stirring, call Hebrews 11.

When you are lonely and fearful, call Psalm 23.

When you grow bitter and critical, call I Cor. 13.

For Paul’s secret to happiness, call Col. 3:12-17.

For ideas of Christianity, call I Cor 5:15-19.

When you feel down and out, call Romans 8:31.

When you want peace and rest call Mat. 11:25-30

When the world seems bigger than God, call Psalm 90.

When you want Christian assurance, call Romans 8:1-30.

When you leave home for labor or travel, call Psalm 121.

When your prayers grow narrow or selfish, call Psalm 67.

For a great invention/ opportunity, call Isaiah 55.

When you want courage for a task, call Joshua 1.

How to get along with fellow men, call Romans 12.

When you think of investments/ returns, call Mark 10.

If you are depressed, call Psalm 27.

If your pocketbook is empty, call Psalm 37.

If you’re losing confidence in people, call I Cor. 13

If people seem unkind, call John 15.

If discouraged about your work, call Psalm 126.

If discouraged about your work, call Psalm 126.

If you find the world growing small, and yourself great, call Psalm 19.

Emergency numbers may be made direct. No operator assistance is necessary. All lines are open to Heaven 24 hours a day.

Feed your faith, and doubt will starve to death!

Contributed by Oliver and Ann Sandahl of Hutchinson.

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