HJ-ED-DHJHerald Journal Columns
December 25, 2006, Herald Journal

Those doggone bones are gone


My daughter, Julie, works at a luxury kennel north of New Germany. She often tells us the funniest dog stories.

One of the kennel’s customers owns four great Danes. They’re all friendly dogs, but they’re as tall as my daughter is. One of them is black and white. It’s just like having a Holstein cow for a pet.

Recently, she went outside in the kennel yard to exercise them. All four of the Danes wanted her to pet them at once. They pinned her up against a fence, and she had to be “rescued” by a coworker.

What really had us in stitches, though, was the story about the black pug and the bone. This kennel is a country club or the equivalent of a four-star hotel for dogs. The workers there periodically give “doggie massages” to their customers’ dogs.

Someone had given a gigantic bone to a little black pug. The bone was as big as the dog, and still had some meat on it. The pug’s face was covered in grease from gnawing and slobbering on this bone for two hours.

It seemed to be in dog heaven. It made this odd sound, similar to “an-an-angh smack slobber slobber an-an-angh.”

My daughter’s co-worker was repelled by the dog’s greasy face and disgusting noises, so she asked Julie to give the dog its massage.

The pug was in a euphoria over the bone, though. It seemed oblivious to the massage. It continued to go “an-an-angh smack slobber slobber an-an-angh,” and gnaw on the bone no matter what Julie did.

Our dog, Kohly, was crazy for bones too.

Once my husband brought home a 50-pound gunny sack of bones he got from his cousin who owned the meat market in Howard Lake. He put the gunny sack in the garage, and intended to give Kohly a bone once every couple of days.

The next morning he found the gunny sack empty, and Kohly was off her chain. She had a big clump of dirt on the end of her nose, making her look like Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer.

She was tired, but acted very pleased with herself.

We think during the night Kohly was very busy. She got into the sack and, one by one, buried those bones all over Glencoe.