Herald Journal Columns
August 21, 2006, Herald Journal

Electronics: friend or foe?

By SAM SCHOMMER
I. Can’t. Move.

Seriously, I have no idea how I am typing these letters.

Let me just say that the backspace key is being used rather frequently.

My inability to move is blamed on volleyball practice.

Yes folks, this teenager not only has two jobs, but she makes it to volleyball practice every morning.

The stiffness could have been prevented with some pre pre-season exercise, but, well, I was much too preoccupied (or that’s my excuse).

So, here I sit with a sore body and droopy eyelids.

I was laughed at when I made an attempt at getting up.

The worst is stairs. It’s awful, I tell you.

But enough of me complaining about the inability to bend over or to raise my arm, it’s down to business.

Wait, what is my business?

. . . . . .

Hold on, I’m thinking.

OK, here’s a thought from my overly active brain: Why is it that electronics, these things that are supposed to be so helpful in our lives, always end up giving us more trouble than they’re worth?

It’s like, here at the Herald Journal, when we print something out on our little friends Xante and Accel-A-Writer, we wait for it by the printer . . . and it never comes!

And the computers – there’s like some evil curse set upon them!

These weird links pop up all the time, and things disappear without a trace.

Don’t even get me started about my computer at home. I was online the other day, and it just freezes!

I couldn’t even get it to turn off, so I did a no-no and unplugged it.

Shh!

Other failing appliances are not uncommon.

Dishwashers not cleaning the dishes properly, vacuum cleaners emitting funny smells, can openers stopping mid-open.

The worst of all man-made machines must be the automobile.

From failing brakes to carburetor problems to cracks in the windshield, the automobile has given us many problems, most which are not worth our time or money.

I am not sure why we continue to make and use these troublesome electronics.

Do they really make our lives easier?

In some ways, yes, but when the treadmill, which is supposed to help you get fit, breaks, what good does it do?

You’re most likely going to just let it sit there because it’s too much effort to go and get it fixed.

These evil mechanical machine monsters are preventing us from doing what we actually want, or what we need to get done.

They’re eating our paper, erasing our data, and exploding our finest china.

Making our bosses angry and our spouses furious, these mechanisms and doo-dads have created headaches and frustrations galore, but yet, we continue to rely on them everyday.

Heck, I’m using one right now!

I’m not sure if I have a point with this whole thing, but here’s what I think it might have been: I feel sore from practice and I am more than willing to complain about it. And also, electronics make me angry.

I am well aware that these two things have nothing in common except for the mere fact that they came from my thoughtful brain. That’s what you get when you give a 16-year-old a column.


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