HJ-ED-DHJHerald Journal Columns
December 3, 2007

Bowling outing anything but spectacular

By Aaron Schultz

Consistently not consistent would be the only good way I could describe my bowling ability.

Alright, I guess that is being pretty generous. Most people, if you watched me bowl, would simply say that I was bad.

Over a month ago now, I ran a short article about a pair of bowlers that bowled 300 games at the Lake Bowl in Howard Lake, with one of them bowling two perfect games.

In the article, I mentioned that I would test my ability at one of the local lanes and attempt to bowl a 300 game myself.

Then, two weeks ago, I ran a photo that showed the excellent form I had when I was bowling – yeah, right!

Along with the photo, I wrote a short cutline telling everyone that I would talk about my bowling outing.

As much as I would like to forget about that outing, I will now go ahead and let all of you know how it went.

Well, first off, it was supposed to be Enterprise Dispatch Sports Editor Jesse Menden and Delano Herald Journal Sports Editor Matt Kane that bowled with me on that day in question.

See, I know both are pretty bad bowlers themselves, so my confidence wouldn’t get shaken too much during the outing.

That theory went out the window early on, as Kane backed out, and instead sent Delano Herald Journal Managing Editor Ryan Gueningsman.

So, with Ryan there instead of Kane, I hit the lanes with Ryan and Jesse.

Oh, before I forget, we were at Doc Holiday’s in Delano.

I opened my first frame with a very solid seven. I didn’t think it was all that bad since I hadn’t bowled in a long time.

In the second frame, I recorded another seven, which I followed up with a one in frame three. Yep, a one, how embarrassing.

Through three frames I had a grand total of 15. Yuck.

I did pick it up a little in frames three through six, getting two strikes, sandwiched around a five.

However, after my second strike in frame six, I wasn’t able to close out a frame the rest of the game, leaving myself with an 86 in that opening game.

While I was sucking bad, Jesse wasn’t doing much better, ending up with a 98.
Meanwhile, the non sports editor in our group, Ryan, finished with a 138.

Our intention was to bowl a series, but since time was limited, we only had time left for one more game.

This time around, I fared much better. But, let’s face it, I couldn’t have done worse.

After an opening frame eight, I picked up a spare in frame two – my first spare of the day.

I followed up the spare with two nines and a seven, giving me a score of 46 through five frames.

In frame six, I knocked them all down for a strike, then recorded a nine, and another spare.

In frame nine, I had a lousy five, setting up a big 10th frame for me if I was going to get over 100.

Well, I picked up a nice spare and an eight in the 10th frame, getting me over 100, and to 112.

I know, 112 is anything but good, but compared to my 86 in game one, I was pretty happy with it.

The other two members in my group did out-preform me again, with Ryan bowling a 123, and Jesse ending with a 125.

So, while I wasn’t able to bowl a 300 game, or even a 300 series, the three of us combined for a team score of over 300.

Yeah, I don’t think we’ll be anchoring a Herald Journal bowling team anytime soon.

While I was no Roy Munson, I did have a good time, which is all that really matters when hitting the lanes.

Bowling was a lot of fun, and I hope to do more of it this winter.

Who knows, if I do enough of it, I might just be able to break that hallowed 130 mark?

Ah, who am I kidding, that won’t happen.

A few bowling facts

The only person to bowl a perfect 300 game at the Hollywood Sports Complex was Ron Lindner, who was 28 years old and living in Mayer when he did it in 1976.

While Lindner has the only official 300 game at the Hollywood Sports Complex, there has been another.

In 2002, Bill Pierson bowled a 300 game, but since it was in a house roll-off, it was considered a non-sanctioned event, and for the purpose of records, doesn’t count.

Bill Wiemiller came close to matching Lindner’s 300 game just a few short years later at Hollywood, bowling a 299 game.

Wiemiller had a perfect game after 11 balls, but on his 12th and final roll of the game, he left just one pin standing, finishing his remarkable game with that 299.

Top 100 movie quotes

A few years back ESPN ranked their top 25 sports movies of all time.

So, for fun, I worked my way down the list, watching each movie and letting you know what I thought of the movie, and where it was ranked.

Well, ESPN is back at the rankings, and it has caught my eye.

This time around, they ranked their top 100 sports movie quotes of all-time.

I found it pretty interesting, and thought I would go through each quote, five-per-week, and let you all know what I think of the quotes.

I originally planned on just running one quote per week, but that would take 100 weeks, nearly two years, so I threw that idea out the window.

But, by going through five a week, I should be able to get through them all by spring.

So, here it goes, starting at quote 100, and finishing with 96.

• 100: “I must break you.” This quote came from “Rocky IV”, and was said by Russian boxer Ivan Drago, who was played by Dolph Lundgren.

I didn’t think the movie was all that great, but the quote was pretty cool.

• 99: “According to Greek mythology, the Titans were greater even than the gods.

They ruled their universe with absolute power! Well, the football field out there tonight, that’s our universe. Let’s rule it like Titans!”

This quote came from the movie “Remember the Titans,” a movie I am sad to say I have never seen.

The quote does seem pretty good, but I’ll have to watch the movie sometime to get the full effect.

• 98: “The drivers can’t stand to be reminded of what can happen to ‘em in a race car. They don’t go to hospitals. They don’t go to funerals. You get a driver to a funeral before he’s actually dead, you’ve made history, darlin’.”

The movie is “Days of Thunder,” and the quote comes from Robert Duvall talking to Nicole Kidman in a hospital.

I really liked the movie, and the quote is also really good. I might have put this one up a little higher.

• 97: “All right, men, now here’s the play we’re gonna use. I don’t think the guards know this formation. It’s called ‘incidental punishment after the ball is blown dead.

Remember, any man you tackle gets an elbow, knee, or kick in the mouth.”

This comes from the movie “The Longest Yard,” the original, not the new version with Adam Sandler.

I liked the movie, but haven’t seen the original in a long time.

The quote is good, but I don’t think it belongs in the top 100.

• 96: “You wanna know how stupid you are? Rube Walker, man. I conned you out. Rube Walker!”

Alright, this is a joke. This quote comes from the movie “Mask.”

“Mask” is a good movie, but not a sports movie, by any means. The quote isn’t bad, but it has no place on this list.