HJ-ED-DHJHerald Journal Columns
December 10, 2007

Childress, the Wizard of Winterpark

By Aaron Schultz

Catchy headline, don’t you think? Well, I do.

(The wizard is Vikings’ head coach Brad Childress, and Winterpark is the Vikings’ practice facility.)

But it might just be true. After all the abuse and ridicule Vikings’ head coach Brad Childress has received in the less than two years since he has taken the reins, it turns out that he might just be a pretty darn good football coach.

He has the Vikings at 6-6; they are on a three-game winning streak (it better be four games after Sunday); and look to be the favorite to make the playoffs as a wildcard team.

Hmm, who would’ve thunk it just four short weeks ago.

Prior to the current three-game winning streak, the Vikings were coming off a 34-0 loss at Green Bay, and had never won even two games in-a-row under Childress.

Purple fans all over the Upper Midwest were calling for Childress to be fired at the end of the year.

But now, if they do make the playoffs, and quaterback Tavaris Jackson keeps progressing, Childress will look like the good head football coach many thought he was when he was hired.

With all that said, I find it funny that in just a year-and-a-half, how many purple fans were so passionate about getting rid of Childress.

Doing a quick Google of Childress, I found numerous web sites ripping on him.

One of those sites is“Dump Brad Childress,” and there is also an online petition to get him fired on another site.

While I also didn’t think he was doing a very good job, I also understand it does take time, and now it looks like Childress just might be the right man for the job.

However, with all that said, he has been quoted saying some pretty ridiculous things during his time in Minnesota.

Below, I have found a few of my favorite Childress quotes. Take a look, and laugh along with me, or just shake your head and try to figure out what the heck he is talking about sometimes.

• “We’re not rebuilding, we’re remolding.”

• “It is the players, not the coaches.”

• “I know it’s a kick-ass offense when it’s executed properly.”

• He’s like a piece of gristle. He’s got a great squirt in the hole. Playing behind 6’7” guys, he’s hard to find back there.

Alright, so the quotes weren’t all that funny anymore. They sure did seem funny just a short month ago.

It is funny how winning can change one’s perception in such a short time.

Go Vikings, and go Chilly, lets make the playoffs, and end all this fire Childress talk.

Top 100 movie quotes

The top 100 movie quotes picked by ESPN are continued with quotes 95 through 91.

• 95: “How many eyes do you need to finish this fight?” This quote came from the movie “Million Dollar Baby.”

I hate to say it, but I have never seen this movie. I have heard good things about it, and I like the quote, even though I have no idea where in the movie it comes from.

• 94: “If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball.” This quote comes from one of my favorite movies “Dodgeball.”

The old man training all the misfits says this while throwing a wrench and hitting one of the clowns in the head.

Great quote, I’d probably move it up a little on the list.

• 93: “Ladies, ever had a quarterback sandwich?” The movie is “North Dallas Forty.”

Again, I haven’t seen the movie, so I’ll pass judgement on this quote.

• 92: “Oh, he was the catcher on the high school baseball team. The star pitcher had a big-league curve. Not all of his pitches hit Roy in the mitt. Ouch. The team thought ‘Tin Cup’ was a whole lot better than ‘Clank.’”

This comes from the movie “Tin Cup,” one of the best sports movies, and probably my second favorite golfing movie.

The quote explains how the lead character, Roy McAvoy, gets his nickname Tin Cup.

I love the movie and love the quote. The quote would be in my top 20.

• 91: “He’s got one foot in the frying pan and one in the pressure cooker. Believe me, as a bowler, I know that right about now, your bladder feels like an overstuffed vacuum cleaner bag and your butt is kinda like an about-to-explode bratwurst.”

This quote is from “Kingpin,” my all-time favorite bowling movie.

Bill Murray as Ernie McCracken is trying to distract Woody Harelson’s character during a bowling tournament.

The quote is great, as is the movie. I’d have the quote a little higher.