HJ-ED-DHJHerald Journal Columns
December 24, 2007

All I want for Christmas is . . .

By Aaron Schultz

Tis the season for giving, and being with family and friends.

Of course, Christmas time is also a time for wish lists, presents, and overeating.

While sports, in the huge picture, is a pretty irrelevant part of life, it is my job.
And with that, I put together a little Christmas wish list for myself, that is totally dedicated to everything sports.

I don’t expect to wake up Christmas morning and find all of this wrapped nicely under my tree, but it sure would be nice.

So, without further adieu, here I go with my top 10 sports Christmas wish list.

10) Currently, Jeff Dubay and Paul Allen host the PA & Dubay radio show on KFAN 1130 AM from 9 a.m. to noon Mondays through Fridays.
I wish for the PA portion of the show to disappear and for Dubay to run solo.

9) A Vikings’ playoff run, to the NFC championship game.
I’m not getting greedy and asking for a Super Bowl run – I’ll save that for my wish list next year.

8) Minnesota Wild playoff tickets. They are going to make the playoffs, and I’d love to be there.

7) The Minnesota Timberwolves to finally find some luck and win the lottery for the NBA draft this spring.
It is pretty obvious that they will have one of the two or three worst records in the league this year, so this wish isn’t all that far of a reach.

6) For Vancouver defenseman Mattias Ohlund to get what he deserves.
Ohlund broke Wild star center Mikko Koivu’s left leg with a slash Nov. 16, and Koivu has been out ever since.
The penalty for Ohlund was just a four-game suspension, while Koivu has now been out for 15 games, and it looks like many more.
I think Ohlund should have to miss as many games as Koivu has.

5) I wish for Minnesota Gopher men’s basketball coach Tubby Smith to never, ever leave the program.
It is actually fun again to watch the Gopher hoops team, and with the talent he is bringing in for next year, it should be fun for many more years to come.

4) I really, really wish for Gopher football head coach Tim Brewster to be as good of a recruiter as we have all heard about.
The Gophers were terrible this year, but his recruits for this upcoming year look good on paper. Let’s all hope they look as good on the football field.

3) This wish might be a little farfetched, but it’s a wish list, not a prediction list.
I wish for the Winsted Wildcats and the Howard Lake Orphans to be in the same league in the summer-time.
Some of the biggest crowds I have played in front of are when we (Wildcats) play against the Orphans, and those are just exhibition games.
Could you imagine the size of some of the crowds we’d get if it was a league, or playoff game? That sure would be fun.

2) That Twins’ owner Carl Pohlad wouldn’t be so cheap. He is only one of the richest owners in sports, and yet he acts like he is living check-to-check.
I’m not talking about going out and signing every big free agent out there to ridiculous contracts, but how about just signing your own players once in while when they reach elite status?

1) Alright, my number one wish is kind of like two wishes, but since it pertains to the same team, I’ll bundle it all into one.
I wish for the Golden Gopher hockey team to get their act together in January and start playing good Gopher hockey.
Then, once that starts, they advance to the NCAA title game, and I am there.

Yeah, I’m pretty sure I’m not getting anything on my wish list this Christmas, but I’ve got a great family, great friends, great bosses (I know, but I need to kiss up once in a while), and my health.

I’ll take all of that over my top 10 wish list, but that doesn’t mean I sure wouldn’t be happy to get even one of my 10 wishes, as well.

Top 100 movie quotes

The top 100 movie quotes picked by ESPN continue, with quotes 85 through 81.

• 85: “It’s in the hole!” This is only one of the best quotes in movie history – sport or otherwise.

The quote is from the movie “Caddyshack,” one of the best movies of all-time.
Bill Murray plays the kind of scary greenskeeper in this hilarious golf movie, and after a long dialogue, talking to himself while whacking flowers, the “It’s in the hole,” quote is uttered.

If I was putting a list together, this would have to be in my top 10 sports movie quotes.

• 84: “I didn’t ask him, ‘Can he beat you?’ I already know he can beat you. I asked him, ‘Will he?’ With Eddie, that’s two different things.”

I like the quote, which comes from the movie “The Hustler.” But, again, I haven’t seen this movie.

• 83: “I’ll tell you what. Why don’t we take all these bricks and build a shelter for the homeless, so maybe your mother will have a place to stay?”

Very good quote from a very good basketball movie, “White Men Can’t Jump.”

This movie, and yes, I have seen it, is filled with great quotes coming from the two stars, and is well deserving right about where it is at on this list.

• 82: “We’re gonna yank ‘em . . . tear ‘em . . . rrrip ‘em. We’re gonna take ‘em and roll ‘em around and rip ‘em up to pieces. And then we’re gonna slaughter ‘em!”

Alright, this quote comes from the movie “Grease.” Enough said, no place on this list.

• 81: “Money won is twice as sweet as money earned.” Very good quote from the movie “The Color of Money.”

The movie is about a pair of pool sharks, and is a pretty good movie in my opinion.

As for the quote, it isn’t bad, and probably deserves to be right about where it is on this list.