HJ-ED-DHJHerald Journal Columns
March 19, 2006

The column about nothing

By Matt Kane

Between seasons is the toughest time of the year for the sports editor at a community newspaper.

I mean, what is there to write about?

Practices just got going for many of the high school teams, but coaches don’t always know which players will fill the varsity rosters until at least the second week of practice.

So, here I sit, with John Mellencamp (why did he drop “Cougar,” anyway?) strumming “Pink Houses” in the background, trying to come up with something entertaining to scribe in this 2-by-17-inch rectangle of space.

And coming up with nothing.

I could write about the Twins at spring training, but I’ve already done that and will do so again during the season. My preseason Major League Baseball predictions will be revealed closer to April 1, the start of the regular season. No fooling.

I thought about writing about the NCAA tournament, but, by the time this edition of the Delano Herald Journal comes out, two rounds of the tournament will have been completed.

By the way, in both brackets I filled out, I picked Memphis to win it all. I guess I could have written something about why I chose Memphis, but I have absolutely no idea why.

I guess I like Memphis coach John Callipari, who led the Tigers to the elite eight a year ago. Otherwise, I have no further knowledge of Memphis, or any of the other teams for that matter, other than it has sharp-looking uniforms.

I have the Tigers beating the defending national champion Florida Gators in the final, which will be played April 3.

Why the Gators? Why not? I know just as much about Florida this year as I do about Memphis. The Florida pick probably has more to do with giving my Gator-graduate friends some love than anything else.

I’m sure both the Gators and Tigers will lose out in the first weekend, so it will all be for not.

I’m just angry my Penn State Nittany Lions didn’t get an invitation.

You can bet if Penn State was in the big dance, I would find something to write about for this column.

What else could I have written about? (By the way, Sheryl Crow is now setting the backround mood with “Strong Enough.”)

Timberwolves? No, thanks. Their games were always entertaining when I attended, but it’s been almost six years since I was last at the Target Center for a Wolves’ game. The last game I saw the Timberwolves play was in 2001, during the first round of the Western Conference playoffs. In case you didn’t know, the Wolves lost that series to the Spurs.

The Wild are always interesting in my book, but nothing it has done recently has sparked any ideas for this week’s High and Outside.

There weren’t any local teams participating in the girls’ state high school basketball tournament, and, now that Watertown-Mayer lost Tuesday night, the only Wright County Conference team still playing are the Waconia Wildcats.

The Vikings? If they would have picked up any players worth mention in free agency, who were worth the ink, maybe, but my editorial decision, based on saving Herald Journal Publishing a few dollars, is to not waste the ink, nor paper on the Vikings at this time. Seriously and honestly, had you heard of Vinny Ciurciu, Visanthen Shiancoe, or Bobby Wade?

NASCAR? Sorry, I haven’t watched a race since the Daytona 500 Feb. 18. I like watching the races, but rarely do I sit around on a Sunday afternoon waiting for the green flag to drop. Marathons of Dirty Jobs tend to be more entertaining than three hours of left turns.

Oh, well, I apologize for not thinking of something to write about. I will try better next week.

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