Once we become mothers, it seems we say things we never imagined we’d say.
We say these things to our children and once in awhile say them to the adults around us.
Sometimes it is as though we have our own language, and no subject is taboo.
On the rare occasion that we get free time to spend with friends, we find ourselves asking them the same questions we are forced to ask our children over and over, such as “Are you ready for some num-nums?” or “Is it time to go night-night?” “Do you need to go potty?” or “Did you wash your hands?”
And if our friends are also parents, they may just answer the questions, not even realizing the humor in it.
While talking about our children we spare no detail, much to the dismay of co-workers who haven’t experienced having little ones at home.
They nearly run away as we announce, “My daughter had a number two accident in her snow pants yesterday.”
“My son is so sick his nose is running and his snot is green.”
“My daughter plugged up the toilet with play dough before it was flushed.” or, “My son threw up all over the living room last night, right after eating spaghetti.”
Mothers can congratulate each other on their children’s ability to finally go “poop in the potty” and not even bat an eye.
Rather than just say “bless you” when an adult near us sneezes, we may catch ourselves before we put a Kleenex to their nose and instruct them to “blow.”
If someone pulls out in front of us, as we drive our minivans, instead of yelling or calling them names, we might calmly suggest, in a motherly tone, “No, no you shouldn’t do that, someone could get hurt.”
If our friends or co-workers are arguing, we may be tempted to interrupt with a lecture about being fair or getting along, and then put them all in a time out.
Going out to eat can cause us to say many things to adults that we say while eating with our children, such as;
“Can I cut your food for you?”
“Did you clean your plate?”
“Is your tummy full?”
or, “Will you please chew with your mouth closed?”
Sometimes my boss will play the Barney clean-up song over the speakers to get us to tidy up our work areas.
When I started working for Herald Journal and I heard Barney singing for the first time, I immediately looked for something to clean up.
It took me a few minutes to realize the humor in this because I am a mom and had used the song to get my children to help pick up toys around the house.
I actually started to sing along. To me, as a mother, it was perfectly normal to have a purple dinosaur announce it was time to clean up.
If you think back over your years as a parent, I’m sure you can come up with funny things you have said to adults that should have been only said to children.
I bet you can remember many situations that comically prove you are a mom, and always will be.
But, hopefully, you never lick your hand and attempt to wipe something off the face of an adult like you do to your children.