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The real humbug holiday
Feb. 9, 2015
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by Ivan Raconteur

Bah.

Valentine’s Day is a humbug.

No, I don’t have my holidays mixed up. Valentine’s Day is much more of a humbug than Christmas ever was.

At least when Christmas rolls around, there are opportunities for fun for pretty much everyone.

Valentine’s Day, on the other hand, is like an exclusive party to which single people don’t have tickets.

It’s not that I mind being an outsider in this case.

I won’t be obligated to buy any expensive jewelry this February.

I’m not going to be saddled with the cost of a bunch of flowers, either.

If I buy any chocolate, I will be able to eat it myself, and there’s nothing sad about that.

I might enjoy Valentine’s Day more if I had stock in the companies that sell any of these things, but, unfortunately, I don’t.

Critics might accuse me of not being romantic. Nothing could be further from the truth. I’m as romantic as the day is long.

The problem with romance is that it takes two to tango, so to speak.

For single people, Valentine’s Day is a bit like playing catch with oneself. It gets boring quickly.

A lot of us single people are perfectly content in our solo existence. Despite popular fiction, one can live a happy and fulfilled life on one’s own.

You would never know that to hear people talk in February, however.

When people hear that I am going to be alone on Valentine’s Day, I immediately get the sympathetic head tilt, and some comment like, “Ohhhhh, that’s too baaaad,” as if I just told them my cat died or I was diagnosed with cancer.

Being single is neither a tragedy nor a terminal disease.

All you couples out there can stop worrying about us, thank you very much.

I also want to make it clear that I’m not bitter.

It doesn’t bother me if my paired-up friends and acquaintances go out and spend a fortune on sappy cards and obligatory gifts.

If those people are happy, I’m happy for them. But, that doesn’t mean I need to hear about it all day long.

For single people, Valentine’s Day can be a form of torture with sticky sweet syrup dripped on us all day.

Yuck.

That kind of thing is like the common cold. I wish people would keep it to themselves.

If it’s not lovey-dovey couples going on about how perfect their lives are, its the marketing people who created the fake holiday sniping at us from the radio and TV about how we need to get in the game and get hooked up.

Yeah, humbug just about covers it.

I won’t be dining at a fancy restaurant on Feb. 14, nor will I be immersing myself in a vat of fake-romantic goo, but I’m confident the sun will still come up on the morning of the fifteenth, and life will go on.

To the single people out there, I say embrace your singleness and celebrate un-Valentine’s Day! Don’t be hoodwinked into thinking there’s something wrong with you if you don’t happen to have another person on your arm to help you through Feb. 14.

Being alone doesn’t make you a pariah. You may just be a gem who shines in the beauty of your singleness, and there’s nothing wrong with that.


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