The happy complications of fatherhood

June 17, 2022
by Andrew Meuleners

I remember the day my wife told me I would be a dad. I remember the moment like it was yesterday. But, I also remember the sheer terror that proceeded her telling me that I was going to be a dad and remember the look on her face when the look on my face wasn’t utter elation.

For my wife, this was the culmination of one of her lifelong goals to be a mom.

My wife is a teacher. She loves kids, watching them grow and become something, and as a teacher, she likes knowing that she had something to do with that. So when she told me that I was going to be a dad, the terror that I was feeling came from all these emotions happening at the same time that I was really unable to deal with all at once.

I was happy and excited but also panicked. What if I was a terrible dad? Did I know enough about life to be able to teach my baby what they were going to know about the world? Also, I was a little shocked, to be honest with you. My wife and I had been trying for a baby, and it took longer than we both expected, so I thought it wasn’t going to happen.

After all that was said and done, I started to warm up to the idea of being a dad. I very much began to warm up to being a dad to a boy. I know you’re not supposed to show preference when it comes to the gender of your baby. At that time, everyone expected parents to say, “Oh, I don’t care what the baby will be, as long as it is healthy,”

Not me. I was all about having a son right from the start, and I really didn’t care about being politically correct about it. I wanted a son, and I told people I wanted a son. This is not to say that I would not have been happy if B1 (as we called the baby at the time)  would have been a girl.

I would have loved that baby girl just the same because she would have been my baby girl. But, I was asked, and I got asked a lot of times, I would say proudly that I wanted a boy, I wanted a son.

I wanted to be able to teach him how to play football and baseball. I wanted to be able to show him how to do all the fun boy stuff I learned when I was young. I wanted to take him to games, talk about music, and show him the world through my eyes. I wanted to have that bond with him. I also wanted someone to carry on my family name and my legacy.

I would have loved a baby girl, but when we heard the news that B1 would be a baby boy, my heart and my ego exploded. This will sound really bad, but it felt like a mission completed.

I now have two sons. Two unique and talented boys that I love more than anything. As they have grown, I have grown. They have picked up on things I love but also taught me to love new things they love. I always wanted to teach my son how to be a good man. What my sons have done for me is to teach me how to be a good man.

I hope you all have a happy Father’s Day. 

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