By Jim O'Leary
An e-mail newsletter for and about Waverly people, used with permission in the Herald Journal and on this web site.
Feb. 9, 2004
Still more about Minnesotans and 'dose Tvin Cities'
Dan Herbst sent me this and it's wonderful. I think he was in Florida at the time.
You might be from the Twin Cities if:
Weather is 80 percent of your conversation.
Snow tires come standard on your car.
You have no concept of public transportation.
75percent of your graduating class from high school went to the University of Minnesota.
When you say "Da You" you are talking about the University of Minnesota.
You know more than one person who has hit a deer.
You know what and where Dinkytown is.
Perkins was your high school hangout.
You have no trouble spelling or pronouncing Minneapolis.
You can list all the Dales.
You hate "Fargo" the movie, but realize that most of your family talks that way.
You get mad at people who think Fargo is in Minnesota.
Your school classes were often canceled because of snow.
You assume that when you say "the cities," people will know what you are talking about.
You know the two sports-related reasons we hate Dallas.
Nothing makes you madder than seeing a Green Bay Packer sticker on a Minnesota car.
You know what "Uff Da" means and how to use it properly.
You're a loyal Target shopper.
You've licked frozen metal.
The only reason you go to Wisconsin is to get fireworks, buy beer on Sundays, or you got bad directions.
You wear shorts when it's 50 degrees in March.
You know people who have more fishing poles than teeth.
You remember WLOL and WDGY.
You have often been lost for more than an hour in St. Paul.
When you talk about the opener, you are not talking about cans.
You have gone trick or treating in three feet of snow.
You know that when it comes to AM, there is only WCCO.
You carry jumper cables in your car.
You drink pop, not soda.
In a conversation, if you hear "Yah, sure, you betcha," you don't laugh.
Everyone you know has a cabin "up north."
You know that Lake Wobegon isn't real, and you know who made it up.
As a joke, you voted for a wrestler and he won! (Reminds me of the interview I saw on television of a former WWF wrestler. He said, "The only real fights were in the locker room.")
Jeff Foxworthy added on his own Minnesotabilia:
If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 18 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim by, you might live in Minnesota.
If you're proud that your state makes the national news 96 nights each year because International Falls is the coldest spot in the nation, you might live in Minnesota.
If you think a basketball team consists of 12 white boys, you might live in Minnesota.
If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through March, you might live in Minnesota.
If someone in a store offers you assistance and they don't work there, you might live in Minnesota.
If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his forehead, you might live in Minnesota.
If you have apologized to a telemarketer, you might live in Minnesota.
If you may not have actually eaten it, but you have heard of lutefisk, you might live in Minnesota.
If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you might live in Minnesota.
If you have either a pet or a child named "Kirby," you might live in Minnesota.
If your town has an equal number of bars and churches, you might live in Minnesota.
If you know how to say Wayzata, Mahtomedi, Edina and Shakopee, you might live in Minnesota.
If you had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you might live in Minnesota.
I also got a letter this week from Ken Hausladen of Waverly:
I don't know if you and I ever met, but I am sure you know my folks.
My dad is Ken Hausladen of the Ken and Beatie combo. He was on the city council and the volunteer fire department. He also served as a Wright County Sheriff's Deputy as a reservist. Your column first caught my eye because my mom used to also write the locals for the Waverly Star.
I'm Ken, the oldest of the kids, and currently on the Council. Other members are Kenny Antil, Gary Olson, Pam Henry and Charlie Bush.
I have a question for you: In the Railroad Park (across from the old Herda place), there is a stone bird house surrounded by a wrought iron fence. Legend has it that it was built by a blacksmith who lived near there.
I would be most appreciative if you or the readers could provide some detail about the origins of the bird house.
I told Ken the blacksmith was Joe Kugler and that I would ask readers about this, even though Berni Reardon had written about this for me once before after she had done a thorough research into the origins.
I also wanted Ken to tell me what he knew of Humphrey, since I have an ongoing interest there, and I would love to see a book done on the personal memories of Humphrey's Waverly neighbors. This is especially important since the fire that destroyed our Humphrey Museum.
Ken, who seems to have a perfect memory, wrote this charming vignette:
"I first met Humphrey when there was a knock on the door late one night.
"A Secret Service agent was there to ask if my dad could come out to take a look at the pipes at the Humphrey place. Dad and I went out and fixed the leaks.
"I met him again one day at the Bookmobile. There were Secret Service guys at both doors to make sure things were 'clear,' and then, in came the Vice President himself.
"He gave me a gold certificate entitling the bearer to visit the Vice President's office when in Washington, D.C.
"I met him a few years later when I started doing yardwork for Phyllis Cheeseborough and Bonita Stewart. They had a place just west of the Humphreys. Joe Woitalla (Ed and Irene's oldest boy) and I were in the same grade at St. Mary's.
"Joe did the Humphrey yardwork and the mowing (whatever Humphrey's sheep and goats didn't consume). One day, Joe and I finished up at about the same time. Hubert let us use his boat to go swimming, and set us up with a couple of bottles of pop.
"We Hausladens later inherited some bunk beds from the Humphreys when an agent came to our house and said we could have them."
These memories of Ken's gave me a good start on my "book."
Thanks, Ken. I'll be calling you.
For previous issues of the Waverly Star, see the web site at www.herald-journal.com/waverlystar.
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