By Jim O'Leary
An e-mail newsletter for and about Waverly people, used with permission in the HLW Herald and on this web site.
Nov. 1, 2004
Just how bad can it get?
On this day before Election Day, it is impossible to ignore the elephant in the living room, that is "The Big Election." It is a topic I dearly wish I could avoid. My only comment for now is that the day after tomorrow, half of us will be saying "Whew!"
Maybe all of us will be saying "Whew!"
There are those of us who will say to the question, "Can it get any worse?"
Is it starting to rain? Did the check bounce? Are we out of coffee? Is this going to hurt?
Could you lose your job? Did the glass break? Was the baggage misrouted? Will this go on my record?
Are you missing much money? Was anyone injured? Is the traffic heavy? Do I have to remove my clothes?
Will it leave a scar? Must you go? Will this be in the papers? Is my time up already?
Are we seeing the understudy? Will it affect my eyesight? Did all the books burn? Are you still smoking?
Is the bone broken? Will I have to put him to sleep? Was the car totaled? Am I responsible for these charges?
Are you contagious? Will we have to wait long? Is the runway icy? Was the gun loaded?
Could this cause side effects? Do you know who betrayed you? Is the wound infected? Are we lost?
Can it get any worse?
Afraid so . . .
I am afraid that no matter how it comes out, half of us are going to be mad at the other half for a long time to come.
* * * * *
Saw this sign this week at Parkdale Baptist Church in Corpus Christi, Texas:
"The world fixes things with duct tape. Jesus used nails."
First things first
"Always say what you feel, and do what you think is right and good.
"If I knew that today would be the last time I'd see you, I would hug you tight and pray the Lord be keeper of your soul.
If I knew this would be the last time you pass through this door, I'd embrace you, kiss you, and call you back for one more.
If I knew this would be the last time I would hear your voice, I'd take hold of each word to be able to hear it over and over again.
If I knew this is the last time I'd see you, I'd tell you I love you, and would not just assume foolishly you knew it already."
- Gabriel Garcia Marquez
Why I like being a columnist
I got this in my e-mail a few weeks ago:
"Mr. O'Leary, I was delighted to see that you remembered the Jolicoeurs and Dalbecs when you were growing up in Waverly. My mother, Alice Marie Jolicoeur (1895), and my grandmother, Emma M. Jandro, were born in Waverly. I believe my mother's sisters, Lillian Frances (1892) and Mary Luella (1888), were born in Waverly, as well as her brother, Edmond Francis Jandro (1884).
My grandfather was Cyrus Jolicoeur. Marcellina Dalbec was his mother, but I don't know where she was born.
I would be most appreciative if you or your readers can give me any help with my genealogical research."
Sincerely, Maxine Munn McGarry; email@example.com
A writer's contest
Every year, Dale Kovar, the owner-publisher, and Lynda Jensen, the editor of the Herald Journal, have been entering my columns in a Minnesota Newspaper Association contest. I have yet to win a thing, not even an honorable mention.
I am going to suggest they enter my material in another contest, which takes place every year, for the worst writing done.
Here would be some of my competition:
"Just beyond the narrows, the river widens."
"Although Sarah had an abnormal fear of mice, it did not keep her from eking out a living at a local pet store."
"Mike Hardware was the kind of private eye who didn't know the meaning of the word fear, a man who could laugh in the face of danger, and spit in the eye of death in short, a moron with suicidal tendencies."
"As a scientist, Throckmorton knew that if he were ever to break wind in the echo chamber, he would never hear the end of it."
(This one won the contest) "The sun oozed over the horizon, parted the curtains of darkness, crept along the greensward, pushed through the castle window, revealing the pillaged princess, hand at throat, crown askew, gaping in frenzied horror at the sated, sodden amphibian lying beside her, disbelieving the magnitude of the frog's deception, screaming madly, ‘You lied!'"
Quote for the week
"It remains puzzling to me that no one objects to my baptizing the children of gay parents, blessing their homes, their cars, and their dogs, yet I cannot bless the loving relationship which makes this family's life possible without upsetting so many of our brothers and sisters."
- John Chane, Episcopal Bishop of Washington
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