Farm Horizons, February 1997

You might be a farmer if . . .

The following was taken from the Northwest Iowa Review in Sheldon, Iowa, which took it from the Platte (S.D.) Enterprise. Its origins before that are unknown.

 

You might be a farmer if ...

Your dog rides in your truck more than your wife.
 
You wave at every vehicle whether you know them or not.
 
You have convinced your wife that an overnight out-of-state trip for equipment or parts is a vacation.
 
You have specific hats to be worn to: farm sales, livestock auctions, customer appreciation suppers, and vacation.
 
You have ever had to wash off in the back yard with a garden hose before your wife would let you in the house.
 
You have never willingly thrown away an empty five-gallon bucket.
 
You have used baling wire to attach a license plate to a vehicle.
 
You have used a chain saw in remodeling your house.
 
You can remember the fertilizer rate, seeding rate, herbicide rate, and final yields on a farm you rented 10 years ago, but cannot recall your wife's birthday, dress size, your anniversary, or your children's birthdays.
 
You have fibbed to a mechanic about how often you greased a piece of equipment.
You have used a velvet leaf plant as toilet paper.
 
You have driven off the road while viewing your neighbor's crops.
 
You have borrowed gravel from the county road to fill potholes in your driveway.
 
You have buried a dog and cried.
 
You have used a front-end loader as scaffolding for roof repairs.
 
You have used your castrating knife to slice and eat apples just to make your wife queasy.
 
If given $1 million, you would keep right on farming because that's what your are and what you do.


Farm Horizons: Main Menu | 1997 List

Howard Lake Herald & Winsted-Lester Prairie Journal
Stories | Columns | Classifieds | Obituaries
Community Guides | Special Topics | Cool Stuff | SEARCH | Home Page