Farm Horizons, February 1997
You might be a farmer if . . .
The following was taken from the Northwest Iowa Review
in Sheldon, Iowa, which took it from the Platte (S.D.) Enterprise. Its origins
before that are unknown.
You might be a farmer if ...
- Your dog rides in your truck more than your wife.
- You wave at every vehicle whether you know them or not.
- You have convinced your wife that an overnight out-of-state
trip for equipment or parts is a vacation.
- You have specific hats to be worn to: farm sales, livestock
auctions, customer appreciation suppers, and vacation.
- You have ever had to wash off in the back yard with a
garden hose before your wife would let you in the house.
- You have never willingly thrown away an empty five-gallon
- You have used baling wire to attach a license plate to
- You have used a chain saw in remodeling your house.
- You can remember the fertilizer rate, seeding rate, herbicide
rate, and final yields on a farm you rented 10 years ago, but cannot recall
your wife's birthday, dress size, your anniversary, or your children's
- You have fibbed to a mechanic about how often you greased
a piece of equipment.
- You have used a velvet leaf plant as toilet paper.
- You have driven off the road while viewing your neighbor's
- You have borrowed gravel from the county road to fill
potholes in your driveway.
- You have buried a dog and cried.
- You have used a front-end loader as scaffolding for roof
- You have used your castrating knife to slice and eat
apples just to make your wife queasy.
- If given $1 million, you would keep right on farming
because that's what your are and what you do.
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