Farm Horizons, February 1999
A real farm woman is . . .
By Myron Heuer
How do you identify a farm woman? A real farm woman?
Well you know you're a true farm woman if:
You spend more time with the parts man at the local implement dealership than with your husband.
You don't mind if your wash gets wet when an unexpected shower hits if you know your corn needs a boost.
You recognize manure as fertilizer.
There is enough topsoil on your floor each time you clean to use in your flower pots.
You choose your new carpet according to how it will hide the dirt that gets dragged in.
You have at least two pair of boots or shoes by your back door for every person in the household.
You enjoy the aroma of fresh cut hay more than the fragrance of your new perfume.
You know how to make casseroles that can be served a half hour early or two hours late.
You know farmer hand signals better than the referees signals at a football game.
You have your own screwdriver, pliers, and roll of duct tape.
You find yourself calculating how many bushels of corn or hundredweight of mile it will cost to get a weekend away with hubby.
Your car is always either dusty or muddy.
You find yourself washing and waxing the tractor more often than you do your car.
Your husband's idea of eating out is asking the kids to bring sandwich to you in the tractor.
During fly and mosquito season you can't wait for winter and during winter you can't wait for warm weather.
Your last getaway with hubby was to the Farm Bureau convention.
Your husband's idea of family planning was scheduling delivery away from planting and harvest season.
Field days and auctions are social events.
Your favorite Mother's Day gift is a bouquet of dandelions.
When hubby brings you a bouquet of flowers, it's not roses, but rather some strange weeds he found and he wants you to take them to the extension office to find out what they are.
Now, if you meet a farm woman, you'll know for certain if she really is a "farm woman."
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